I had a "to do" list that was tediously long this morning. I pushed it aside to write my morning pages. It would be good. It's been a long time. It won't take that long to write three pages long-hand.

I woke up at 10:30 today. I can do that on my day off. The night before I researched (again) coffee houses in the area and had decided to check out Coffee and Chrome but it didn't look inviting and there was only one car in the lot so I drove on. Passed Kimmie's because it looked too diner-kitschy and resolved myself to Jamba Juice because it was hot outside. I was disappointed. I don't know why I make such a big deal about where I go to write. I'm not asking for much! Just someplace that has Panera's food (but better) with the atmosphere of Cafe Veronese and the casual comfort of Mc Clain's. And air-conditioning of course.

Jamba Juice's patio is outside but I sat in the shade and almost made due until PEOPLE came and had the nerve to speak. Plus there were kalamata olives in the only veggie wrap they had. My morning pages were quickly becoming mourning pages. And it was no longer morning.

And then it occurred to me that the library is both quiet and air-conditioned with the added benefit of books! No food but I was already done with that part. So after a brief stop by the closed on Fridays Brea Library I am now a card-holder at the Yorba Linda Public Library.

When I was little I used to get dropped off at the downtown Anaheim public library and when I got my bike at 12 I would take myself. I remember spending a summer there participating in their kid's book club. I loved that gorgeous building filled to the brim with magic. My favorite librarian still works there. When I was on maternity leave with Sam and again when I took a year off of work I always returned to the library. Libraries give me all kinds of good energy and make me extremely happy. You'd think I'd spend more time there.

After I got my shiny new library card I quickly checked my email on one of their computers and then made my way to the uber quiet study section and wrote and wrote and brain dumped and made lists and designed the main living area of my dream house. That done, I went looking for a pressure cooker cookbook so I can begin using the one I got for my birthday. It must have been the new tickle me Elmo because all the books were checked out. hmpf. I did however find a book by Michael Ruhlman called "The Making of a Chef" which is all about going to culinary school. By the way, if I ever do go to culinary school it will be the end of my vegetarian days. One of the first things you do evidently is learn to butcher animals.

I needed to go to the grocery store but didn't know the ingredients that I needed by heart and thought I'd have to go home first. I knew the Better Homes and Gardens recipe was in my email but I needed my mom's lasagna recipe. Then I remembered that last week Blurb piloted new functionality where you could preview an entire book online. Some of you may remember that I took the three books that my mom put together of her recipes and combined them along with her recipe cards into a book that I gave my sister for Christmas. Of course my mom's lasagna recipe is in there and I could preview it online!!! It's a good thing too because I remembered later that Michele still has my copy!

On the way out of the library I decided to take a look at the movies and music. We don't have a VHS player so the movies were pretty much out. Plus that's what Netflix is for. But I realized that checking out cd's is free. It's a cheap and legal way to fill up my ipod and expand my musical horizons. I started with the A's. Today I got Paula Abdul since I loved "Straight Up" in high school. I know it's nothing I would want to actually BUY though. I also got Erika Badu because my sister Mary liked her, Joan Baez since I'm supposed to know about her but don't and Harry Belafonte because I love him and no longer have my cassette! If I keep this up I will know so much more about classical, opera and show tunes than I already do since that's mostly what the library has.

Even the grocery store was good today. I've always known the produce section at my Albertson's is good. Today in my leisurely mood I actually LOOKED. I was surprised to find Broccoli Rabe (or rapini), which I've never seen in a store but see all over European recipes. I usually just put those recipes aside since I never knew where to find the stuff. They also have an aisle of foreign foods that include foods from Germany and Great Britain along with the normal grocery store Asian and Hispanic sections along with a healthy/organic aisle. I usually bypass those aisles because they are not on my To Do list.

I was worried that after being gone today for five hours that I would crash from the high that was today and feel sad that my kitchen is still dirty and my To Do list still long. Kinda like you'd feel if you had a big hot fudge sundae even though you were on a diet. Instead I am sustained and nourished by my divagation. My list does not seem all that overwhelming or important anymore. It is more important to feed my spirit.

That was overly dramatic. I left a piece of my heart.

And it is good and normal and we even tried to make it fun.
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So a guy had French onion soup at Claim Jumper restaurant and chewed on a used condom.  Ew.  He's suing but he's also stating that his life has become a living hell.  He lives in fear of fatal disease (even though he's tested negative for Hepatitis and HIV).  His wife won't go near him.

Seriously?  He didn't even swallow!

Sometimes I think people borrow more trouble than they need.  I won't even get into the debate about whether it's a valid claim versus a plant.

And what is it with condoms in soup?  In 2004 there was a claim against McCormick & Schmick's.  I think soup is an easy vehicle for just about anything.  Come to think of it I found something in soup at Hometown Buffett.  It was an eaten chicken leg (in a vegetable soup!).  I think I even finished my (other) food and left.  Haven't been back but I didn't freak out and I didn't sue either.  Granted it's not a scary condom but I think sometimes we create more trouble in our lives than is really necessary. 

Here's the article that prompted my thoughts.  

We woke up too early but we had to if we wanted to see Sherwood Forest. Before we boarded our train to Nottingham, we walked through Trafalgar Square and back to Piccadilly so that I could look through the window at Fortnum and Mason.
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We woke up in the countryside which was a nice change of pace after London. The bed and breakfast we stayed at had a beautiful garden and they served us a nice English breakfast. They also let us leave our backpacks there for the day.

We did not have plans. Shocking I know. We walked onto the small road and headed for center of town which was a very small walk.



It was idyllic countryside. I loved Amesbury.
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We woke up and ate at the local Pret a Manger which is a cross between a restaurant and a 7-eleven with the quality and freshness of something you put together yourself. I say 7-eleven only because sandwiches are pre-made (that day). I believe I had a tomato mozzarella croissant for breakfast. I'm telling you their fast food is incredible in England.


( Boats and Bridges! )

I feel like I should have been done chronicling our honeymoon a very long time ago. At this rate we'll have been married for years before I'm done. Oh Well. Keep on Keeping On.

So at the end of Day 3 we turned in our rental car and boarded a train in Bristol and arrived in London quite late at night. We stayed in a budget/hostel type of place though we had our own room and connected bathroom. It was very clean, but very noisy and the bed was uncomfortable. Oh well. We weren't there to sleep.

Bright and early the next morning we figured out how to ride the underground and went to Piccadilly to get our London Pass. With pass in hand we went straight to the Tower of London.


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I apologize to all the people on facebook who watched my mission status updates without knowing about the mission. I'm not usually that cryptic but I didn't want Mary and Miguel to read anything about their cake/cupcakes before their wedding on Valentine's Day.

I am very grateful to have a Kevin for a husband. He's very helpful and took on the cupcake stand. I'm also very lucky that his parents already built one for his cousin Erika's wedding. So last week I drove around from store to store trying to get ideas and then the four of us...yes even Max and Sam "helped" (critiqued)...decided together how to decorate the stand. And then Kevin did all the work. That was nice. Seriously, that's how I'd love to go through life. Here's my design ... someone else make it happen!



I make White cake with buttercream icing cupcakes...
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Wish Nicole would play. She'd kick everyone's ass.

1. Bold the shows you watch/used to watch.
2. Italicize the shows you've seen at least one episode of.
3. Underline the shows you own [at least one season] on DVD and/or VHS.
4. Post your answers.

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I had two bizarre dreams this morning one of which is directly related to facebook. Although not the way it begins. That's just weird all by itself.

I was at a slumber party at Oprah's. But it wasn't grand or anything. Facebook comes into play because there were a couple girls from High School there. As each of us woke up we trickled into the living room. In the living room there were boys from High School. They must have spent the night with Stedman.

We were definitely adults at this time. I went to the refrigerator and grabbed a diet Dr. Pepper. One woman complained that she had given up soda and that I was tempting her. In High School it would have been regular Dr. Pepper and who gave up stuff then?

After we all chatted for a bit (Oprah and Stedman remained asleep), we decided to go to the playground outside and play tag. I never played tag in high school. We must have been regressing at an alarming pace. It was super fun although the men seemed to have an advantage over grown up women who were much slower and wearing inappropriate tag clothing. But I woke up feeling that sense of being free and easy as a kid. So thank you Facebook.

The other dream was weird too but not facebook related. We were supposed to visit my sister Mis who had purchased property in the remote and less populated area of South East CA. We were having a photo shoot with a famous actor. I don't know why and I don't know who the actor was. I only knew that Mis called and asked us where the hell we were because famous actor man is waiting.

And then she was at our hotel with Kevin in her car and me following in mine. And she demanded that we go to her remote place that was about 45 min. away. We get separated. We are off of the freeway on a small road that was cute and country like. For some reason I decided that I'd be better off rollerskating the rest of the way so I left my car by the side of the road and skated merrily along. (Hmmm regressing again) After about 15 minutes I come upon a humongous hill and I'm kind of excited and scared to skate down it. I do it and it's fun and exhilarating. I'm now too far from the car to go back but still really far from Mis's so I decide to call and that's when I realize that I don't have anything at all on me. No cell and no keys. I skate on and find a cell phone by the side of the road and call for a ride. Max answers Kevin's cell and I start negotiating a ride.

I woke up feeling that the dream was kind of weird but all I can think about is how big that hill was. Definitely not as fun a dream as playing tag with your friends.

I've chosen not to eat the simple carbohydrates. I have a tendency to over-complicate things in general so why not carbs too?

I never liked brown rice until I tried the following recipe. It's easy to put together and risk free because it bakes in the oven. The result is fluffy and flavorful brown rice that isn't so bad anymore at all. I have been known to mix it with pinto beans in a burrito, add it to soup and lately I've been mixing it with vegetarian chili (canned) for a healthy and quick dinner.

Baked Brown Rice

* I use any kind of brown rice including long grain. I sub out the butter with olive oil. The taste is just slightly less delicious. I don't pre-boil the water. I just use hot tap water. Yes I know that's bad but I'm lazy sometimes.

1 1/2 cups brown rice, medium or short grain
2 1/2 cups water
1 tablespoon unsalted butter
1 teaspoon kosher salt

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.

Place the rice into an 8-inch square glass baking dish.

Bring the water, butter, and salt just to a boil in a kettle or covered saucepan. Once the water boils, pour it over the rice, stir to combine, and cover the dish tightly with heavy-duty aluminum foil. Bake on the middle rack of the oven for 1 hour.

After 1 hour, remove cover and fluff the rice with a fork. Serve immediately.

As I said before, I am posting tips. Maybe they'll be helpful and maybe they won't. However, it may prompt discussion which is always good and it may invite you to share a tip of your own that I could use.

One of my favorite things is Sarah Lee Delightful 100% Whole Wheat Bread. It is only 45 calories per slice. Of course I eat two slices (and sometimes four!) which provides 6 protein and 4 fiber grams while only costing 90 calories.

This lets me have toast, sandwiches, hotdogs and hamburgers (veggie of course).

It's easy, tastes good and I always have it on hand.

Many deals to be had due to superbowl Sunday. I filled the bottom of the cart with 12-packs of soda. Seven to be exact. That's five across the bottom and two stacked on top.

I checked out and walked across the parking lot toward my car on a slight decline. One 12-pack fell off in front of the cart and the cart ran over it. Right in the middle of the street. Soda was squirting everywhere and I was a traffic hazard like a big rig with a spilled load on the highway.

It turned out to be not such a big deal you know? I quickly got the cart free of the soda and picked up the messy 12-pack in one hand and pushed the cart to my car with the other hand. As I was loading my groceries into the truck I was approached by no less than two people at two different times. Both wanted to make sure that I planned on taking that 12-pack back into the grocery store and making sure the store would give me a new one to replace the destroyed one for free.

I appreciated their concern initially but told them that I was the one that packed the cart. They said "Still. You should do it."

I said that I only lost two cans out of twelve and they said, "Still."

Finally I had to tell them that it really isn't that big of a deal. It's my fault and it's not a big loss at all. No.

Am I missing something?

This year I made a quiet resolution to myself that I shared with a few people in conversation. Basically, I wanted to fly. There are people that I know in real life (not just TV shows like "Leave it to Beaver") that have their households run like finely-tuned machines. When I say that it sounds like I'm looking for perfection but I'm not. I want to have my house always "company ready". I'd love to spontaneously have people over without any thought at all to how the house looks. I'd like my clothes put away in the closet. I want wake up each morning to a bare desk that invites morning pages.

The main reason I am going down this path is so that I get what I really need. Because along with the peace of mind that a well-organized living situation provides I will also gain TIME. I know a family that after dinner the husband and wife wash, dry and put away the dishes. They bathe and get the kids in bed. Leftovers are packed into lunches for the next day. The key is that they do everything without thinking about it. It's a habit and it gets done fast.

So I started keeping my kitchen sink fairly clean (remember no dishwasher here!). I started deciding what I'm wearing the night before. I'm building these habits see?

But I was feeling like crap. At first I thought it was resistance until I remembered that I'd been slowly getting worse since before Christmas. I also noticed clothes were getting to be too tight. At first I thought that I couldn't possibly commit myself to eating healthy and exercising along with becoming more organized until I realized that I was shooting myself in the foot trying to do one without the other. There's no way I could put into place new habits while becoming more and more run down.

The first thing I did was quit the full calorie soda. After our wedding last September, I went from diet to regular in case I got pregnant (no phenylalanine). It's funny how we think. Like a baby needs full calorie soda! So now I'm drinking water and tea and the occasional diet soda and I feel so much better.

I started using sparkpeople again. I bought a wii fit that I love. I joined a "biggest loser" group at work and have a chance to win $1,000.

I think that if I eat in a way that energizes I gain time as well. I've always subscribed to the idea that goals need to be specific and measurable. I'm following my gut now not my head. I also know that in order to succeed, sometimes you have to fail a lot and with each failure it brings you closer and closer to your goal. So I'm not going to worry. I'm just going to keep moving forward and see what tomorrow brings.

I will also be making posts about things that work for me in this process and hopefully people reading this will share their ideas with me. I could use them!

I deliberately took today off of work. Last Monday I knew I needed a day for myself. I had no plans and that was kinda the point. Turns out I had my Oscar season kick off event.

This year I thought I had decided to forgo my mad obsession to see every major Oscar nominated film prior to the Oscars. I didn't see that many 2008 movies. At least not Oscar caliber films. I tend to like the action movies and go with my dad whenever a new one comes out. Those don't normally get Oscar nominations. Why can't there be more Lord of the Rings type films?

So in my meanderings online this morning I happened to see the nominations that were recently announced. The analyst in me decided to see how many films were still playing and it turns out quite a few. In fact, if my day had 10+ hours free to watch movies and the theaters cooperated, I could have seen all of the Best Picture Nominations today.

Instead I saw just one. The one that no other person in my household would ever care to see. Sam wants to see Benjamin Button and Milk. Max wants to see Frost/Nixon and Slumdog Millionaire. No one wants to see "The Reader".

As I drove through the drizzle and then walked to the ticket counter I enjoyed the damp weather and the quiet. It felt just like this movie.

I haven't even seen the other movies but I don't think it will win Best Picture or even Best Actress for Kate Winslet. It was well done and thoughtful though. It was quiet. It was interesting.

I would never have seen this if it wasn't nominated. It's not my type. And that is exactly why I do this. I enjoy the stretch.

Yesterday we had lunch at the Back Bay Bistro at Newport Dunes. It's in a beautiful location and has a fairly decent menu. Dad and I both had the grilled salmon. They had a nice spicy seafood chowder as well. The main thing about the place though was the view over the back bay. Very light and modern inside and the view adds to the tranquility.

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Right around Christmas at some point I felt sorry for myself for about 3 minutes. It was because my schedule was crammed tight and my ex's was not. I knew that once he made it to his parents house he'd have pretty smooth sailing from that point on and that he'd get to hang out with his family including Max and Sam and his parents and his brother's family. They'd eat and they'd play games together. They play games all day and all night. I love games. How come I can't lay around and play and eat and play some more? With my kids too!

On Christmas there just isn't time. Christmas eve we go to Kevin's parents and the Christmas day we have half a day to do our thing with my dad and then they are off with their dad which is as it should be.

So after the 3 minutes of pouting I decided to take back New Years Day. No one I know has a New Years Day tradition. I told Kevin. I told Jeff. I told the kids that New Years Day is mine and that we will be celebrating as a family.

I declared it Favorite Foods and Game Day.

For breakfast I made crepes for them and baked oatmeal for me. I remembered that Melissa had given me a jar of Bananas Foster Jelly that she made and I filled my crepes with that. DELICIOUS! Kevin always puts honey on his and Max loves powdered sugar and lemon juice on his. Plus we had those super juicy lemons!
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